I used the Shannonizer and the word of God to make it a little holier. Inside the review, I had mentioned that some divine force had saved me from watching the entire first episode.
The original text is available here.
Call it divine intervention.
The show follows the story on the “Frank TV,” which ye inhabit, and by the entertainment industry where people are forced to me.
And the cultural radar beyond “The Apprentice,” the spirit of the entertainment industry where people are, Sean Connery dressed as the season.
And the God of Caliendo’s humor, and that betwixt me and wash thy womb, but if the LORD will make them work, and said: I had to listen to take a parody of blood according to these were the channel.
Where art for himself. This is Al Gore that thou shall surely be the daughters. But if the entertainment industry where people go, I also know not saying I had to change the TBS press Web site, I could, my brother's keeper?
Wherefore hast thou to death. There’s also known for my son of thine ointments than all manner of the main brains behind the earth, and make thess swear by that he said unto you want. And by the good along with Lewinsky, the gate of spices.
I have to me. But taking it was very good along with me. This is that I my editor assigning me this half of do know from “Mad TV”). Somehow, until our brother. Put, he may be put to these were smitten, thy God in Caliendo’s humor, thy temples are like a thread of do Charles Barkley, this, I had to my flesh.
Now therefore thy feet, not murder. Thou shalt not sure
is necessarily a ghost house. But the manslayer shall not even Sen. Arise, this dead. Thou shalt not covet any reasonably-well-known celebrity that formula, behold, but it’s not hold him, hearken to him, I dislike him, will not saying I was very good. Thou shalt not comedy outing starring Frank Caliendo shows the crop, that comedy isn’t doing it was to these were smitten, behold, and his own series is a laugh, forego the story on the network that difficult to my son of “Frank TV” and the king?
Sounds a little more dramatic than when it first ran in today's DA. I don't remember using the word 'womb,' but oh well. That's God for you.
Second Text: Rosier side of this economy column
This next piece is an economic column I wrote for the DA, also. It is available here.
I’m not an economic officials are aggressively taking every day.
Now thanks to sing if you like this is beyond a puddle, fast.
But hey– at all. Ordinary Americans are everywhere. Then we serve hot dogs, sir.
And cheese? Perhaps this bed all. And when tweetle beetles battle in dire times as an economist. Will our financial system,” White House press secretary Dana Perino said the eight analysts on the wondrous-smelling stacks on the wondrous-smelling stacks on a tweetle beetles battle with a bear, in a bottle with the financial crisis created by the bottle's on your fault– they were bought by the mistakes of you sing if you sing with heads in dire times as to people.
But people that Zummers call zumming! M
ade of the light of the Goo-Goose is, not like a poodle and institutions. But people can’t work, it’s not your head? We hear so well in a basic understanding that the dumbed-down analysis of President George W.
They come along humming, who couldn’t quite make their plumbing, the what-seems-to-be-discounted-price. Ordinary Americans are losing whatever money they were crying foul. They smell like my little car with the hat cat.
Red fish, which means people are everywhere. One fish, I bet. I do not an economist. Now thanks to sing with the market, they should be wondering why I’m not like my point. Ordinary Americans are losing whatever money to do not your fault– meaning companies can’t borrow money to have our fundamentals of every day.
But people are hurting. Now thanks to sing with heads in their mortgages, they walked all night. But hey– these banks across America continuing to wink and make the poodle's eating noodles.
I was trying to find the President Bush text translator, but couldn't find it. So I went to the next thing up on the intelligence level: Dr. Seuss. It's completely insane, it makes no sense -- so it's perfect for this project. I always liked Dr. Seuss as a kid, but he doesn't make for any kind of journalist, green eggs and ham.
Third Text: Another DA piece -- last debate column
The third and final text translation is my presidential debate column that ran in the paper last week. I used Edgar Allan Poe, just to see what he'd say about Joe the Plumber.
It took him were in a president. Of the world’s problems.
The whole house was sick-- you shall. Barack Obama spoke into the spirit of “the fabric of the raven, with a gentle violence.
A whirlwind was the hot breath of unutterable fear to speak English. I saw them-- sick unto death; but in a series of unutterable fear to end my heart!
You shall. Joe Biden was now– something I’m happy to discern, the voting group ACORN, save in the debate. There was to return.
After spending most of a gentle violence. Barack Obama– you’re reading. And Joe, like a swoon-- of the devices in the courage to each other, Joe, that long agony; but now– McCain alleged that he intended to discern, who the American legend.
After spending two of “the fabric of agony and its vast weight-- of the voting group ACORN, and the dungeons there had so far. Barack Obama when he was now an open second in the most of cowards. Even their three presidential campaign began that I assure you, and would have rid myself of domestic terrors William Ayers.
While, as if anyone knows where the general election. And I’m pretty sure I assure you shall. And then came, I’m happy to speak English. You must not behold this! Once more let me. I heard that he didn’t explode with a simple American legend.
The last night.. I had so close to shake off---- incumbent eternally upon my final and records,” McCain even in addition to return.
I assure you that I saw them writhe with a hideous throng rush out forever, Joe Biden was able to name-- oh, with logic and for Sen. McCain was trying to millions of urgency was not McCain’s frequent outbursts and reason, Obama.
There's something really weird about seeing three pieces I wrote for work twisted and shaken so badly. I'm not saying there's no literary value in having Dr. Seuss, Edgar Allen Poe or even God translate your work, but it's not mine any more. It's some jumbled, bizarre mess that means nothing beyond a series of computerized words.
It has lost its real meaning. The texts have had their value stripped and become a shadow of their former selves.
4 comments:
David, I like your idea to alter columns you wrote for that excellent student newspaper, The Daily Athenaeum.
These were good texts to use, and seeing your original work altered in such a way strips it of value is probably right. At least in the context for which it was originally written. Sure it doesn't hold the same meaning and value, but maybe with a closer look you can find new meaning and value, new humor, etc.
I really like the idea of using a review of something because there will be a lot of judgmental words and phrases within the piece which forces a bit of hilarity within the word of God...who apparently doesn't judge.
You seem to have a good grasp on the project. I particularly like the mention about the womb. "Oh well. That's God for you."
Good luck!
Dave:
All three are fascinating. The Poe + column on the debate is fragmented but does seem to capture something of the oddness and almost horror quality of the political process. The second seems entirely appropriate - I think Seuss is the best one to comment on the economy. The first piece, on Frank TV, captures some of the silliness and primacy of TV in our culture by equating/mashing television and religious language. In your reflection, try to discuss how each comments on the original. What do we learn about the language of economic analysis, for example, in the second text?
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